Ask the Pyschologist: Nightmare Troubles

Q. What should I do when my 7-year-old daughter has a nightmare?

A. Children have magical imaginations. They give life to teddy bears, trucks, and dolls; they have invisible friends; and they can cook a three course meal with just a pile of sand and a shovel. When the lights go out at night and it is time for sleep, their minds delve headfirst into this imaginary world. Sleep time is dream time and it must be respected and understood from a child’s perspective.

 When a friend is mean to your daughter during a play date, she may run to dad or mom in search of comfort and reassurance. When a friend is mean to her during sleep time, she needs the same type of comfort. Talk with your daughter about her dreams. Ask her to tell you the details about her happy, sad and scary dreams. Listen as if these events really occurred, because from an emotional perspective, they did. Often, the details of a dream don’t make logical sense. Her house may have transformed into a local grocery store or the family dog may have been a skunk in the dream. These details shouldn’t be focused on, other than for a good chuckle. When listening to your daughters dreams, pay attention to the emotional content and validate her feelings.

With regards to nightmare prevention, be careful not to become over controlled about nightmares. They are going to happen. Nutrition throughout the day and especially before bed may have an impact on her dreams. If your child’s mind is racing and agitated because she ate foods with refined sugar or caffeine in them before bed, it may be physiologically impossible for her to slow her mind into a relaxed state until the chemicals have worked their way out of her system. Speaking to a nutritionist may help to set some parameters with regards to a nighttime eating schedule.

Also, set up a routine for managing nightmares. It’s difficult for children to switch gears and reboot after a bad dream and they often end up in someone else’s bed. This can be an inconvenient habit to get into. It can take a significant amount of preplanning on the part of the care giver to avoid family bed hopping. Once the initial crisis intervention has taken place and you’ve listened to her thoughts and feelings about the nightmare, flipping through a dream journal and talking about a good dream that she once had, may help her to refocus on something positive. Other cognitive techniques are fifteen minutes of quiet reading together, listening to some music, practicing calm breathing, or even playing a game of checkers on the bed. Be creative and remember, once that adrenalin is pumping from the bad dream, calming back down may take some work.

Vorpahl Psychology Associates, LLC (VPA, LLC) was founded the summer of 2004 by Dr. Jacqueline Vorpahl, Ph.D. She is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 15 years experience in the field. Her focus is on children, adolescents and family issues. Prior to establishing her private practice in Medfield she worked as a psychologist for the Native American Center of Boston, the Wampanoag Tribe of Martha’s Vineyard and as a clinical supervisor at BU Medical School. Dr. Vorpahl earned her doctorate degree from the California School of Professional Psychology in San Diego, CA.

In the summer of 2007 VPA, LLC opened a branch office in Berkshire region. The offices are located in Dalton and are lead by Dr. Julie Sprenkle, Psy.D.