The Annual P&K Rookie Guide

What’s Hot, What’s Not

By Ursula Furi-Perry and Heather Kempskie

“Go with Your Gut” Parenting

Tired of the endless advice spewing forth from parenting books, well-intending friends and relatives and countless Internet sources? You may consider joining the growing ranks of parents who are saying “No, thank you” to advice-based parenting and simply going with their gut.

“The best message [parents] can learn in general is to go with their own instincts,” believes Patty Pless, M.D., a Marblehead-based PCI-Certified parent coach. Because parents tend to spend less time with their kids, that means less time for hands-on learning, Dr. Pless explains. And with so much parenting information – much of it conflicting – available, gut-based parenting is an attractive approach to parents who are on information overload.

Instead of turning to multiple sources on every parenting question, Dr. Pless recommends a more focused approach. “Reflect to yourself about where you are constantly running against the wall and take that topic and research information for that particular challenge that you have,” she says.

Most importantly, Dr. Pless says that parents must simply trust their instincts to know that they are doing well by their kids. “Find the confidence that you are doing the right thing,” she says.

“Green” Potty Training

Buh-bye, disposable diapers—that’s the sentiment shared by a group of parents who are interested in environmentally-conscious potty training and related products.

With brands like Cotton Babies, Bum Genius! and Fuzzi Buns, parents who want an alternative to one-time-only diapers have many choices. There is also plenty of information, tips and advice for parents who are interested in cloth diapers. As some examples, check out the Cloth Diapers Blog at http://clothdiapers.blogspot.com/ and Diaper Pin at http://diaperpin.com/home.asp.

But diapers are not the only thing green about potty training. Want an environmentally friendly potty to match your green cause? Try the BecoPotty. Explains George Bramble, sales director at Becothings, which manufactures the BecoPotty, “the potty is both sustainable to produce and biodegradable once finished with…once its discarded into a landfill environment, it will break down within 3-5 years as opposed to the hundreds of years most plastic potties take to degrade.” Now that’s one cause-conscious throne!

Increased Involvement of Dads

From diaper duty to playground fun, there is no doubt that many of today’s dads are increasing their hands-on involvement in their kids’ lives. In fact, according to information on the FathersNetwork.org Web site, 1 in 5 fathers is the primary care provider for their preschool-aged children, and 1 in 10 for their school-aged children.

“Men are doing a lot more that is hands-on with their children and they enjoy it,” believes Ned Holstein, M.D., founder and chair of the board of Fathers and Families. Of course, this is not to say that previous generations were not involved, Holstein notes. The definition of “involved,” however, has changed overtime. Today, many dads won’t shy away from activities and contributions that were not traditionally considered “Dad’s work.”

Some ways to get Dad involved? Schedule activities that the whole family will enjoy, and schedule them for times when Dad is available. Also, show Dad some appreciation—for his time, his insights, and his invaluable involvement in the lives of his kids!

“Less is More” Parenting

Simplicity parenting: a parenting style where less is more and life is less hectic—this is the concept behind a growing movement created by Kim John Payne, a Northampton-based counselor, educator, and author of the book “Simplicity Parenting.”

Payne says he came up with the idea for simplicity parenting after working extensively with refugee children: if stress can be cumulative and cause kids to adopt a “flight and fight” mechanism to cope with stress, he thought, then why not take away that stress cumulatively and eventually lead them to simpler lives?

“Less is more” parenting consists of four layers, Payne explains: first, it’s about working to simplify kids’ environment, such as toys, clothes and books, and either putting those items on rotation or seasonalizing them; second, it’s about strengthening routines, rhythms and predictability, which can make kids thrive; third, it’s simplifying schedules; and finally, it’s filtering out the adult world so that kids are not exposed to as much adult conversation or screen media.

Start with something doable, like a clothes call or toy call, Payne recommends, so that you’re not overwhelmed by huge changes all at once. And don’t be afraid to hear the “b-word” from your less-overwhelmed and less-scheduled kids. “Boredom is just a precursor to creativity,” says Payne.

According to Payne, most kids take to the method right away. “The big payoff is how much easier they are around the home, how much more compliant,” he says, along with stronger family relationships. He notes that simplicity parenting discussion groups are available throughout Massachusetts, and directs parents to www.simplicityparenting.com for more information.

Parenting Tips at Your Fingertips

Have an iPhone? Then consider yourself a part of the “in” crowd. Easy access to parenting experts and family solutions abound. Here are a few of our favorites:

• Tap into the collective wisdom of over 30 parenting experts in Parenting the Future: Tips for Raising the Next Generation app, filled with fresh inspiration and practical advice for raising conscientious, connected, and successful kids.

• Stay connected to your family via A Family Matters app. An enterprising family from Mansfield was disheartened by the lack of family time. Using their favorite device (iPhone), the family created thousand of Action and Question activities for dinner time fun or travel. Selected by Apple for their “What’s Hot” List, it also includes general tips on improving your parent/child communication. “I feel like a better dad because it gets me to talk with my kids about things I know I should but never seem to know how to start,” says Scott Weiner.  “I learned about my youngest’s fear of the dark during one session with A Family Matters.”

• GroupText, a new app for the iPhone and iPod touch that offers free, unlimited group texting.  Perfect for carpools, soccer teams, coordinating book clubs, wrangling the family into one place via texting…imagine a chatroom for text, with “reply all” functionality.

Other family-friendly Web sites are popping up offering simple solutions to life’s biggest challenges:

• Babies and toddlers can now play online video games - with just the tap of a keyboard! KneeBouncers.com was created for little ones, loaded with 18 bright and colorful games that require no mouse. As babies hit the keys (any keys!), magical things happen on screen for endless fun.

• Created by local dad Paul Jin, Plummelo.com is a web service that allows users to:

o       Collect their favorite recipes from sites like Food Network, All Recipes and Martha Stewart

o       Upload their favorite recipes (good bye recipe boxes!)

o       Share recipes

o       Plan meals, and

o       Print shopping lists for meal plans

“Many moms have two competing desires. They want to cook fantastic food – some may be aspiring chefs – and then there’s the reality of what they can do while juggling work and kids,” says Jin.

Have some chicken and broccoli in the fridge? Just enter those words in the search box and you’ll get some recipe ideas.

To date, there are more than 250,000 users and thousands of recipes on the site. Be sure to check out the meal planning tool to maximize your time and energy. And by the end of the year look for other new features including the ability to get coupons from areagrocery stores for specific items you’ll need for a recipe. Love it!

Other Trends

• Blended families were once considered an enigma, but they are now the norm. Currently, there are 20 million blended households in the United States, compared to 10.6 in 2001. 

• There are 25.9 million single parents in the U.S. Single Parent Gossip.com is, a brand new destination featuring blogs and forums dedicated to single parenthood. The site takes an active and positive approach of tackling the daily challenges of single parenting with stories, advice and reviews.

• Look for more expectant moms to talk to their bumps in 2010, thanks to new research suggesting that voices penetrate the womb in surprising detail—right down to the nuances of mommy's accent.

• Luxury infant and toddler apparel market has grown 12% this year, despite the rise in gas prices and the slumping housing market.

What’s not Hot

• Boring pastel colors for the nursery: You’ll find more vibrant, bright colors in hip nurseries

• Spoons: More products are being made available that you can eat directly from the squeezable container like organic, preservative-free fruit and veggie yumminess

• Oversized “throne-style” high chairs, instead cozier, more fashionable chairs that attach directly to the table are turning heads

Trendy Names

Top 5 Girl Names

1. Emma

2. Isabella

3. Madison

4. Emily

5. Ava

Top 5 Boys Names

1. Jacob

2. Michael

3. Ethan

4. Joshua

5. Daniel